THE GUEST LIST

Biology ProfessorAlberta Newton is an absent-minded biology professor at Anonville University. Inquire about science, and she’ll blow you away with her intellect. Chat about any other topic, she’s an average Jane. 

ER Physician

Frankie Vermillion is the energetic emergency room physician. This is one doc that is in serious love…with Dr. Frankie Vermillion. Frankie doesn’t pass up a reflective surface without a quick admiration of her features.

ButcherIf you looked up narcissism in the dictionary, Sam Chawpalot’s picture would be plastered by the description. Sam is the friendly, self-loving butcher with an over-exaggeration problem.  Take what Sam says with a grain of salt.

Retired Fisherman

Riley Corals is the arrogant and aggressive retired angler. Riley Corals owns the only marina in town and charges enormous rates to dock boats there. Nobody receives an invite to the Coral’s mansion on the hill, and the curious townspeople often wonder what Riley is hiding.

HeiressLondon Wilton grew up in Anonville, and is now visiting from Beverly Hills to scout a location for the next Wilton Resort.  Everyone is growing tired of the tabloids exposing London’s troubles - especially the townspeople of this pe…

Dental Receptionist

Peyton Crownly is the peculiar receptionist at Pinehorn Dental, the only dental practice in the town of Pinehorn. A constant whistler, Peyton Crownly will always grace you with uncomfortable stares and periods of awkward silence during conversation. Unless you want to neglect your dental health or drive an hour away from town, you’ll eventually have to deal with this bizarre individual. Peyton also creates peculiar sculptures and is making quite the name as an artist in town.

NeurosurgeonIs there a doctor in the house? Yes, of course! It’s Dr. Doctor Dijon! He’s the one to tell you to eat an apple a day…except it won’t keep him far away, as he’s only 3 inches from your face when he’s speaking to you! This close-talking behavior is surprising since the good doc has an intense fear of germs!

Playhouse Director

Finn Burgundy is the brazen leader of the Moon Shadow Playhouse. Finn prefers to produce dark-themed plays for the theater and is a demanding director. Finn will get what he wants at all costs, so stay out of Finn’s crosshairs if you are serious about self-preservation.

Pastry ChefShugga Ann Flower is the best pastry chef in Anonville! The morning ovens warm up at Shugga’s Bakery, and the sweet sugar molecules flood the streets. The townies flock to get her tasty treats as soon as the neon in the open sign glows.

Police Officer

This crabby introvert has sworn to protect and serve the people of Pinehorn. Surprisingly, Officer Nelson is one of the most highly-decorated officers at the Pinehorn Police Department. One likely scenario is that Officer Nelson has simply intimidated everybody at the station, as everybody does as they are told by Officer Nelson. Officer Nelson is rarely seen without fellow officers buzzing about.

Mayor of AnonvilleThere are two sides to Mayor Paul A. Tisshon - and only one of them is courteous! If you have something to offer, he’s the nicest man you’ll ever meet.  However, if you double-cross him, you’ll encounter his dark side. Those who have seen Paul’s mean spirits never seem the same again.

Personal Trainer

Reese Harvey is the muscle-bound personal trainer from Pinehorn Athletic Training Center. Reese loves to talk about one thing only – Reese Harvey. Reese spends a lot of time playing video games with Ashton Harvey. Reese was a notorious high school bully many years ago. Unlucky townspeople witness this type of behavior manifest when Reese is told no.

LibrarianRita Bookaday is not your typical librarian.  She’s young and broke with a mischievous aura. On a personal level, Rita can be unpredictable and quite silly. However, she is quick to assist when you need help at the Anonville Library.

Equestrian

Patricia Prim is an equestrian and reigning national champion for individual jumping. She was an Olympic hopeful, but after a freak accident on a jogging trail, she ended up in a wrist cast only a week before the games. Patricia is great with horses and has trained them her entire life, as she grew up in a family of jockeys. She is dedicated to her sport and her horses.

TailorOuch! That’s what you are likely to hear as you walk by this tailor’s shop. This clumsy chap has a huge problem of turning his clients into pin cushions! However, Alby’s skills on the sewing machine are unsurpassed, and he is the best tailor in Anonville.

Executive Video Game Tester

Jason Ramsay is the fun-loving video game tester for Box-X games. From his living room couch with five cats strolling about, he has risen to the level of an executive inspector. Box-X doesn’t release a game without Jason’s approval.

GolferCougar Forest is a tiger on the golf course, but in person, he’s a cuddly kitten. Originally hailing from France, his accent is more than enough to win over the ladies. That is, until he does one of his annoying cougar impersonations.

Reporter, CBC News

Pat Couric is always on top of the latest story and sometimes before the story happens! Pat’s an ambitious investigative reporter for the CBC television station and will stop at nothing to be first to get the scoop. Pat is rarely seen without a troupe of colleagues from CBC News.

Local CelebrityMister Crimson is the most charismatic man you’ll ever see on local TV.  On camera, he’s the perfect gentleman - someone you’d love to take home to the parents.  Off the set, he’s a pig with the most dreadful manners you’ve ever witnessed. Ladies, this is one package you don’t want to open!

Magician

Lou Angel is the incredibly paranoid magician. Lou performs weekly at the local theater and is constantly dribbling about conspiracy theory nonsense. Lou is a talented magician with a great team of assistants. Lou performs a fantastic magic show, but this trickster is quite exhausting to be around on a personal level.

High School PrincipalIs it Principal Amethyst or Principal Loony?  The latter is what the kids have nicknamed this principal of Anonville High School. Teens beware: rumor has it not everyone who gets sent to the principal’s office makes it back to class! Some students are never seen nor heard from again!

CBC News Anchor

Astor Jack is the gregarious news anchor for CBC News. Astor has recently secured the promotion to the coveted news desk and will do anything to keep the job. Therefore, if you have any secrets that are news-worthy, you should stay clear of Astor.

Police ChiefYou would never guess a meager, self-questioning man could climb his way into the highest-ranked spot with the Anonville Police Department! Chief C.R. Badges is a kind-hearted gentleman who swore to serve & protect, but his job performance is hindered by his social awkwardness and nervous behavior. Some townies think he’s hiding something.

EDM Producer / DJ

Deadbee Cyan is a rising star and electronic dance music producer. Deadbee is famous in the underground music scene and has recently gained recognition for receiving a Gram Award for his hit song Death Kills. People say that everything Deadbee touches turns to gold. It would be wise to stay under Deadbee’s wings if you are seeking fame and fortune.

Criminal Defense AttorneyLiar, liar, pants on fire describes Mr. Willy Lyallot. If freedom is your desire, get this obnoxious defense attorney on your side of the courtroom, even if you’re guilty of murder! Willy makes ambulance chasers look like Peace Corps volunteers!

College Student

Dakota Green is the nerdy math major at Pinehorn University. There isn’t an equation this brainiac hasn’t conquered…or created. Not much for idle chit chat with friends, Dakota spends time at the library reading books about historical mathematicians. There isn’t much that Dakota cares about besides numerical equations.

HairstylistDon’t bother bringing a picture of a hairstyle, because if you sit in Kara’s salon chair, you’re getting her signature style. Kara’s cut is outdated by nearly sixty years, and all of her clients look identical. This retro-loving hair diva has her trademark style down, and it’s the best of its kind.

Artist

Tony Tangerine is the blatantly honest artist. Tony tells the truth, even if it self-harms. However, if it’s the truth you seek, find Tony.

Motivational SpeakerMody Vader is one of the leading motivational speakers in the country. Mody’s single and lives with ten cats in a tiny condominium next to Shugga’s Bakery. Mody’s pure dynamite when speaking to a big audience, but when a situation calls for one-on-one social interaction, this public speaker’s quiet as a mouse.

Social Media Consultant

Drew Adel is the highly intellectual social media consultant. A dependable hard worker, Drew is a true and loyal friend. Drew's behavior is a tad obsessive, but some people appreciate Drew’s attention to detail. Drew can be off-putting at times with blunt honesty.

Investigative Field ReporterTele N. Ewe is always on top of the latest story, but sometimes before the story happens!  Tele’s an ambitious investigative reporter for CBC-TV, and will stop at nothing to be the first to get the scoop.  He’s rarely seen without a troupe of his co-workers from CBC News.

Website Designer

Ashton Harvey is a dedicated friend and hardworking website designer. Ashton has designed websites for most businesses in the town of Pinehorn. The townspeople often call upon Ashton for help with anything computer related. Ashton lives with Reese Harvey, and the siblings spend most of their free time playing video games.

CEO K-Logs CerealFrosty Flaker is the maniacal CEO of K-Logs Cereal. Frosty is a classic rags to riches story of a mailroom sorter who moved to New York City and worked the way to the top of K-Logs - a multi-million dollar cereal company! Rumor has it that Frosty’s planning to take over a minor league baseball team and a chain of amusement parks next. 

Veterinarian

Furen Feathers is the most annoying one-upper in the town of Pinehorn. If you’ve done, said, or tried anything cool, Furen Feathers has done it more often, said it already, and tried it three times. Furen Feathers is new to Pinehorn, and not many people know the real Dr. Feathers.

VeterinarianDr. Andie Maluver is the brilliant exotic animal veterinarian. A tad jealous and competitive of others, Andie’s known to engage in an occasional malicious act. It is advisable for those who interact with Andie to stay on this animal doc’s good side!

Guitarist

Parker Tankus is the antisocial guitarist for the band Armpit Anguish. Parker suffers from severe anger management issues and is extremely judgmental of others. These nasty qualities tend to anger not only the band, but also anybody that is around Parker for more than two minutes. Parker also suffers from an intense fear of germs so getting too close to Parker is out of the question!

Rodeo ChampionIf there were a movie named Cowboy and a Gentleman, Tex Bultamer would have the starring role. Chivalry is still alive and well according to Tex, as he hands the world to the ladies. However, Tex is a no-nonsense type of cowboy and says what comes to mind! If you don’t want to hear the truth, stay clear of this good ‘ole boy.

Chief Financial Officer

Jackie Bean is the Chief Financial Officer at the largest corporation in town, Greeto Lay Potato Chips, which employs over half the townspeople of Pinehorn. Jackie is a friendly person, but often rants about governmental conspiracies. Jackie’s fellow employees often speculate that Jackie wraps foil around windows, antennae of appliances and vehicles, or anything else to prevent the government from spying.

FBI AgentJamie Bond is a top secret federal agent, and the ultimate femme fatale. On the surface, Jamie appears to be the typical high society socialite. However, those closest to her know her true identity - a deadly federal agent who knows how to take criminals down.

University Registrar

Logan Anthony is the bossy registrar at Pinehorn University. Logan has a shady past, as Logan was an infamous tyrant during high school along with Reese Harvey. Logan’s reputation hasn’t improved much over the years. Logan spends the days finding ways to reject the applications of potential students to the university